Mittwoch, 12. September 2018

Some update on the good, the bad and the Evil in my life





Long time, no regular posts, and yup, my faithful readers might be a bit disappointed. Now my absence has reasons, of course. One is that I simply had little time to write, and even updating my facebook account was a bit of a hassle. Another is.. well, how to put that in words?

I might put it that way: I was always reluctant to acknowledge the existence of human beings that are utterly and completely Evil. I believed that persons commonly tauted "evil" simply were a bit misled, and, with some empathy, could be persuaded to see things maybe a bit different. And of course, that still applies to many people.

But, finally, I encountered someone who not only is utterly and completely useless as a member of society, and life taught me the hard way that there actually ARE completely and utterly EVIL persons, of a variety that can only be referred to as a sort of madness or frenzy. Sort of disgusting and terrifying that such a thing exists, and it turned my view of the world upside down. Sort of Lovecraftian, too. Now such a thing as "the elder ones" or "Cthulu" makes a lot more sense to me as a myth. There is such a thing as a cosmic madness that befalls weak characters turning them into something utterly abominable.

These beings, that I will refuse to refer to as human, draw each and every drop of energy out of you, feeding on your virtual life - blood, thriving and relishing in their own fell deeds, until they have turned you into something like to themselves, and they will not stop until each and everything light and wonderful about your soul is perished. They install hate into your heart and soul by purpose in order to speed up the process and prey on everything that is of value to you, from friendship to valour to dreams to everything that elevates the human soul.

And as you can see by these lines, they have nearly succeeded. Only by a hair´s breadth did I escape and I needed some time to nurse my wounds. I was alack of inspiration and motivation to write anything but self-pitying rubbish. And this is a symptom that I nearly fell prey to the Grey God, the primeval snake of doom.

And I did not want to molest you with that, for it is like spreading a pestilence.

But a writer I am. This is not to say I am a good one. But it seems to me that I am no bad one, either, for still people read this blog, after all the trials and tribulations they had to suffer... ;-).

I am a writer, and the pen is also a weapon. It is just as good as a sword in many ways, and I know how to handle both. How did I manage to get out of the fix?

Now what applies to writing, applies to smithing in no small manner, too.

Again, I dove headlong into working for others, which to them serves as an excuse to mob me out, as usual. I do not understand this, but I simply cease to want to understand now.

I have realized that in order to survive this shitty world you have to be tough. You have to show your enemies (and just about everyone in human society is one) why they fear the dark again. And I know that there are a lot of you out there who have made exactly the same experience. Most of you out there are capable of getting cozy in situations where the all-too-common men ( and women) would not be able to survive. You dress up funny, you love to walk barefoot through the woods, you don´t care about hairdos and you have dirty fingernails.

They shun you, and they mob you, they try to perform ontological murder on you in telling you you were not adequate-while they themselves even fail in successfully open up a choco pops package in the morning, can´t even cook the basest of recipes and collapse after running for the bus. No wonder many modern shoes come with velcro straps, because they are not even capable of reaching that far down, and, provided they even did manage by accident, were not capable of tying a proper lace-knot.

I will tell you the secret (or one secret) about them: They fear you. One last shred of instinct tells them that you are what they have forsaken. That you are still in connection to the wild. They fear your laughter and your smile and your childlike endeavours, your vibrant colours and your prowess and creativity...

I make this fear my ally now. I make my mishap their downfall. 

´Nuff said. Course, what I did these last months is riding my bike. It always helps to get things into perspective, to get out to places that are wild and adventurous. I saw some small wonders along the way, of course, and it is in seeing these wonders and clinging to the sense of awe that you can smite the serpent of primeval Evil, the Hátislar of doom... and the small wonders are often nothing special.


This is wild. This is a BMX track someone built very well under a remote bridge, and no, for the life of me I would not tell you where. It is illegal, of course. But someone took a lot of love and energy building what was prohibited due to lack of profit, and did it well. Went to the lengths to carry big bags of concrete out there and making some stunts fpor nothing else but plain old fun and play. All over the place there were graffitis saying "I love my little BMX" and "BMX, sonst nix" (BMX, nothing else).

Someone who loves what he or she does. Nothing special. Nothing elevated. Certainly no politics or other hatemongering. Plain old fun, and I hope the folks don´t mind that I used their stunts a little. Was a bit awkward, for my 26 was a bit too big for the stunts and I have become a right chickenshit and an old fart... ;-) but it was plain old fun indeed.

But urban is as urban does, and I had a craving for the hills, as I have so often, for a simple reason: Less people equal a smaller total percentage of morons.
Nothing special, really. Just some fireroads. Sun, and a light breeze. My ohsogood bike and myself.
...
And on top of one of my favourite hills one of the carvings I so much like... and it has inspired me...
...to take up carving again. Now the thing with carving is that you don´t need much. Just a whittling knife and a piece of wood. No smithy equals less people equals a lower total percentage of morons. And carving is somehow meditative, and I love to do this sitting on a stump in the woods. My muscles just start to remember the movements, but they are still there... No wonder: The first carvings I made when I was four years old, nothing to be proud of, to be true, but still.
And there are trees, old and gnarled trees, and young trees swishing in the wind... and no Hátislar of doom can take that from me.
And then I look over those hills, and the sky is so close, and I take a deep breath and smile.
Just a bike.

Or a hike, of course. Late summer trails and woods that simply wait to be discovered.


Relsihing in ripe berries and the sweet scents of late summer and just a faint hint of autumn inj between the tiny space between the brambles.

Bright blue skies we so often forget, where the merlin circles above with his eerie cries...
Or dark and cool crevices in the earth, looming full of ancient secrets and primeval terrors and the horror of the unseen; and yet the strong scent of the earth oozes from below and gives new strength to one´s soul.
Or, another wonder, as simple as it gets... just a wafer and a cuppa coffee at my favourite trailside restaurant. Just sitting there in the morning, when there are not many people around and you can have a nice chat with the few around; for for the most part, those are quality people who shun the mainstream and the ruckus.


And you have time and leisure to communicate with the rabbits nearby in the stable, and it is surprising that they communicate back.


And over more hills you ride in solitude and a sense of peace in your heart.

I very much find these pictures tell more of what heals one´s soul than many words; and of course I took it all in in long breaths.
It is funny how much things like these arm your heart against the constant attacks you encounter; for your mortal enemies might be able to kill you... but they will not kill the fact that you can experience this moment.
And all their endeavours are futile. They will die, they already have, and simply did not notice that they are already dead as stone.
They will not see the marvels of the woods anymore.

They cannot walk the trails you walk; even if they would walk the same path geographically, they will not be on the same path.


They know not exhaustion, and so they can never rest. They have no passion, and so they cannot feel tranquility.
But it is no longer my business pitying them.

My business was having a cuppa tree above the lake...


...and whittle away.
Loads of times I also just sat in a dense wood. I brought some good bread and cheese and some fruit and pickled cucumber and sausage... and, being deeply grateful for al these treasures, took my long time savouring, I mean REALLY tasting the food, while there was no sozund around but the breeze in the treetops and the song of birds and wild rams in the distance and some roe deer. 


On one or the other occasion I went foraging for nettle seeds and leaves for soup and tea.
And there is a lot of life, and there is a lot of death in the woods. And it all makes sense, for everything has its time and place.
People are going mad over the latest catastrophies and fashions of doom... and they know not a thing.
There is one truth no influencer can change. No product will change this truth, nothing ever will. There is life and there is death.


Up springs the well and renews itself always.
And the trail leads where it has always led. they cannot change it nor do anything against it. Not against its power, nor its existence.


And they lie their way through life, and ultimately they believe themselves what lies they have told; but the trees know no lies.

Under crown and under leaves a weft is woven. From the well springs a creek that murmurs the runes of the forest. It sings songs of the wild. Always the warp is moving, weaving a web so delicate that it is, for the most part, left unseen. But still, it is there. It is truth, and can never lie. It consists of small wonders, of joy and pleasure and lust, of terror and horror, and awe. It has no name and many names.
Ever onwards onto itself the warp moves through the weft...
..and onwards the trail leads through the thicket.
The spider sitting in ambush...
...and the wind and sun upon the leaves...
The weaver of death...

Of decay and the horror of the void...
...cruel yet according to the law of the universe...


...up springs the well and renews itself forever.


And layer upon layer of the fragrant soil gathers upon the rotting steel of human pride.


And the trees will grow.


And the wicked will be forgotten. Their soul will die with their spirit. Their rotting flesh will be part of the soil, and stories will be told about their hate and greed and violence to warn of their downfall. They shall be peaceless through unrest. Three furuncles I sing and I curse upon them: Shame, maculosity and unseemliness. I sing the highest curse: May the void befall them. May they get what they so much desire. By all the wonders I encountered I render all their strife futile. By sun and life and wind and death, may they be doomed in any world, in any life. may they be reborn a million times and a million lifes shall they suffer, from the bginning to the end of the universe and in any universe that will be born. May they die a thousand deaths and encounter what they have sown. Evil they did do, lewd did they live: May they agnize what is their making.

And may I simply forget them in favor of the beautiful light on a forest´s hillside. 

Donnerstag, 9. August 2018

The legend of Hátislár the thrice-cursed

 This is a local legend of the Ennepetal, and the locals tell it for ages... traded it is from grandfather to grandson and in the long time it is told it has underwent a lot of change... but the elvenfolk of the Ennepe valley, the mighty kin of Iamparái tell it differently, and as far as I am told by their masters of song, more honestly.

For it was them who first started to tell the story as a warning to all humans. A story it is of the sorry shortcomings of man and the evil one man can summon upon each and every member of his entire world. A tale it is of the elven war against man, and it is this war that brought the dwarves and elves of the dale into hiding.

Now people say that Evil is a being older than the world, and it is told of in the scrolls of the dreamweavers of Feorh - Seonn - Ys, the AI - uigeann.fearh how the grey snake first assaulted the dreams that be and the world that is, and this is not the place to talk on end about these events, which took place in a place when place was not, in a time, when time was not.

It must - for now - suffice to say that the Grey came into the world from outside, a shadow that was no shadow. It devours all colours, it devours all dreams and spites peace and bravery alike. It poisons love to greedy lust, honest strife to greed, honesty to lie and wrath to hate. It is the death of all things light and all things of gay countenance; no song survives in its claws, nor tale, nor poetry. It corrupts the hearts of all its followers. Certainly one can tell, but seldom art first glance: Because the disciples of Grey are cunning in their wake.
 This is the story of Hátislár, the thrice-cursed. This is the story of a man who fell under the spell of the Primeval Evil. This is the story of a lesser dark lord of the grey hosts.

And was it once upon a time, when time was not, or but a day ago, that there was born a child into a family of relative wealth in the valley of the Ennepe? The child was a boy, and grew up almost like every other child. His father was a smith and merchant, and he was to become the heir of a modest estate. His father took pride into the small manufacture, and he was master to two excellent bladesmiths who themselves took pride and joy into making a very fine quality of steel and forged swords and knives and daggers and excellent tools thereof, for which the dale was famed throughout the known world. It is said by the dreamweavers that they were close friends to the dawrf kingdom of Klauti - Rad nearby and the Iámparái Cynn and learned a lot from elf and dwarf alike. The Redemester himself knew that he profited well from this friendship, but he was one of the disciples of the new belief of Christianity and dared not talk openly about the knowledge gained by the bond that had been formed between the races in the dawn of time. But he left his smiths alone with their afflictions, and did not fare badly by this.

Now the Ennepe valley was never suited well for farming, and the landlord of the nearby manor demanded a heavy fee, and so there was a lot of work to be done. Seldom if ever had he time to tend to his little boy, and when he had, he gave whatever gift he could get to his little son, who grew up somewhat wuild without the firm hand of his father. His mother loved him overly and taught to him not the old ways but the new word, and even if she taught him not to disdain the fair folk, he came to hold the dwarves and elves in low esteem, even to ostracize them for their difference and their ancient beliefs which he learned to sneer at despicably.

And he grew up a man with little obligations, and hard work he never had to do, for even if his father told him to crush the coal or bring water for the quench, the smiths were eager to help him out to protect him from any hardship in fear of his mother. For she had the repute of talking behind the backs of her adversaries and schemes and plots unfortunately were among the things he started to see as a key for a successful life, and success was what he had. But this success in his endeavours came at a prize, and he came to be reputed as cold-hearted, and other children shunned him. He started to smile at the mishap of others, and came to develop a greed for shining things. But all this would not have made him an evil boy, nor did anyone think of him other than a boy slightly misled. For in his heart he still was able to feel a warm love for his parents.

And thus he grew up to be a sturdy and robust youth, even if he had no hard work to do. For on the rare occasions he conversed with his father, he accompagnied him on the hunting sessions the manor´s lord commanded, and his father, being a wealthy man, even was allowed a gun and hound, and he was not an exception thereto. An avid hunter for his lord became he, and he roamed far and wide on sunny days in summer and in autumn he helped to drive the wildstock out of the thicket. Farther and ever deeper he ventured into the woods on his sauntering, and that made his countenance strong and able.
Alas for his sauntering roams. Alas for the health of his limbs and the prowess of his gait! Alas for the accuracy of his aim and the rifle in his hand! Alas for his hound that so well guided him! For the beast, that, unlike man, never betrays its own nature, led him to the crags of Haukrinnarstainns, which lay peacefully in the sun, and the gates were open. Unleashed he had the hound before, for he had thought he had a scent, and was greedy to bring home the meat and the spoils of the hunt, and the dog swiftly made into the mountain´s halls. Thereupon the doors did close, and left the youth outside, despairing for the loss of his father´s beloved hunting companion. And, fearing the wrath of his father, he started to yell at the grey stone. Now the doorkeeper heard of the wailing outside the crags, and beholding a young lad of pleasant countenance, opened the door without further ado. Alas for the times no gone forever, when there still was trust between the races and a local wanderer just could walk by to visit the wonders within the crags! Woe it was that this trusting worked for elves and dwarves alike, woe unlike any other, even if some dispute if the birth of Hátislár took place there and then. But argueably this was the beginning of many sorry events thereafter.

For into the mountain he was led, and his ostracity for the Iámparái Cynn somewhat dwindled. Now gold and gems and works of art have a different meaning in the halls beneath the mountain. being abundant in many forms, their material value is diminished in favor of their actual worth. The Cynn and the dwarves take pride and joy into the making of beauty and arts and objects of high craftsmen´s cunning. How long it was he wandered amongst the Cynn it is disputed, and he was told many a tale and many a trick of the trade of smithing and the making of beauty, but alas, his ears were even then deaf for advice, and he looked at all the gold and precious stones with a hot fire in his heart, and it was passion and greed in this fire. The dreamweavers, worried for the sanity of his soul and mind, told him the First Tale Of The AI-uuigeann.fearh and thus informed him how first the Grey took hold of the world and warned him of greed being a straight path to the Grey God´s altar; but alas, he would not listen. But hearing of there being an altar of Grey, he asked if the Grey God was worshipped and where.

Now indeed, long ago, before the venue of dwarves and elves into the dale, there lived another race, which is seldom talked of amongst the kin of Klauti - Rad and Iámparái, but still kept as a secret amongst the wise elders and tutors of their respective races. Deriving from the seed of the Oreamm and the seed of Men who propagated with the Grey Oreamm, they bear many different names. Troll -like, Goblin - like, with a fierce and strong countenance and claws like iron and fangs like steel, bearing evil arms and weapons of excellent but disturbing manufacture, contorted as their makers and masters, this race had been all but extinguished by the fair folk.

Rumour had it that there lived one last of these creatures the life of a hermit, stealing human babies and eating them in obscene rituals, so disgustingly aghast that few even dared to tell about them, a hunter even of his own kind, who had devoured his own offspring. Rumour had it this fell creature still dwelt in a cave keeping a maiden hostage whom he had kidnapped centuries ago and kept alive with evil magic. Still, this maiden spited him where she could, being yet forced to keep him company and doing his biddings under a ghastly spell. She was reputed to be of a wild but serene beauty and few could tell if she were man or elf.

And the youth listened to all these tales with jaundiced and twinkling eyes, but the masters of the tales still misunderstood what was driving him. And he was given back his hound, and he was given a plain but potent hunting knife of elven make as a gift of honour. Now it always had been customary to thank one´s host and provider with kind words and wishes of wellbeing, but the youth just took his leave, leaving his hosts speechless at such blunt behaviour.

As he returned home late, his father gave him a beating and promised him a change of things and gave him work to do at the smithy and the new-built ironforge to end his sauntering and bimbling about on dubious hunting sessions that the landlord had not sanctioned in the first. And at first it looked as if his son altogether had changed; but within his heart there was fury and anger and hate even at his father´s authority. And he took to heart the tale of the maiden who was said to live in the monster´s cave near the town upon the hill and came to see himself as akin; a creature of nobility and wildness kept captured by an evil troll. And since his father had taken his rifle from him and forbid him to leash the hounds for hunting on his own, he snuck off all by himself, just carrying the hunting knife he had been given by the elves, and in the twilight of dusk he wandered the dale until he came to a fell place.

Alas, dark was this place, and many had regretted to let live the insane monster, and not many of them lived to tell the tale. A cave it was, naturally opened in a crevice and  a small ditch in a murky and distorted forest, eerie in its desolation. One must credit his bravery to even get there in the first, but insanity was what was driving him to call upon the creature that dwelt there, hunting and prowling for the living flesh of man and beast, of elf and dwarf. And thus it was he summoned a priest and advocate of the dark belief.

It is not told what happened there, what obscene rituals were performed that night, or what stories were traded. Even for the young lad the terror of these things was too strong, and he fled the place with all the prowess of his young life, clinging to the words of the new belief as if to a life-buoy on the storm-ravaged ocean. It is said that at least he had somehow made possible the escape of the hostage, and the monster set out to hunt for both; but yet both went on respective ways, and there is no tale told within this legend of the whereabouts and whenabouts of the maiden... even if she is suspected to play a role in another legend, but this has to be told on another occasion.

Again the young lad returned home; and still, the birth of Hátislár was not yet then. His parents did not even get notion about his nocturnal journey, nor did any of his friends and relatives. But something had been corrupted forever. He had nearly forgotten about the riches of the Haukrinnarstainn´s halls, and a long time he forgot about his adventure in the halls of the Iámparái. At first, all seemed all too well. He went to church as everyone did and tried his best to work at the smithy. But something fell had befallen his clever fingers, or so it seemed, and often he ruined a cunning work by a simple blow of the hammer. The things he made were strange and stranger to the eye, and the smiths at first mocked at them.

But then there came an evening when there was a full moon in the sky, and the smiths had set a table in the smithy. A company of elves had ventured from their halls to join in on a feast in the manufacture and to offer advice, a custom both man and elf around these parts had followed for ages, a joyous party on a warm summer´s night. And the elves (and some dwarves of Klauti-Rad) with joy and a song set out to show the human craftsmen new tricks of the trade, and together they counselled and forged with a song and quite a deal of wine. Near the morning the company wanted to take their leave. In the shadow, watching with awe and envy, the young man saw them. And he saw them passing the corner where lay the scraps of forging to be melted or forged anew, and there the mastersmith who had tried to teach him to no avail had put a knife blade he had tried to make. And one of the elves, passing by the scraps, saw it lying there. One of the ancient order of smiths was he, and while he had not lived in the times of the Gráw-Khwaor, he still stopped with terror. For the knife blade he had seen he had heard of countless times, in the tales of horror of the Gráw-Khwaor-wars. And he bid the smiths to lend him the scrap metal blade. The smiths, however confused by his request, permitted him to take it away anyway to seek council with the elders. Grave was the warning the elven craftsmen gave; to be ware of the one who had made the tool, and to be wary of any signs of strange behaviour.

The company strode away into the beginning dawn towards the crags... and not one of them saw the  stalking shadow behind them. Alas for the fell prowess the young man had gained, the goddess may know where. For it is not an easy feat to stalk an elf, and this is what he did. And, armed with an iron bar he had stolen, he slew the whole company and relished in gore and blood. And he hid the bodies under big stones at the trail´s side and sneaked home. There passed half of a month, and the moon was nowhere to be seen. Sleep had not come easy to the young man. And, as disturbing his crime might have been, still this was not the birth of Hátislár. But it was on this night that he tossed and turned in his blankets, until it shivered through him like a gust of wind, and upon that gust of wind he heard a voice. "Come.", it said.

And he came. Came to the ironforge´s pond. Murky its waters lay, covered with an eerie slime and green moss like a foul swamp. Something moved beneath the stinking waters, something huge and alien to sight. It might have been of human likeness once. Once it had been the offspring of man and grey Oreamm, but no more. Beneath the swamp´s surface it had hidden, lusting for the souls that had escaped his preying, silently waiting in a slumberlike demeanour; silently, patiently and full of greed, now it rose to the lightless night. No likeness did it have to troll or man nor to anything walking the warm earth. It was like an eel, but not like an eel; wings it had like a bat, but a bat it was not. And when it spoke, without a sound, there were tentacles moving about its disgusting maw, which bore likeness to snail and worm and yet looked disturbingly reminiscent of something all too familiar. It emanated feelings fell and a fear of doom primeval; it oozed a stench so awful and ghastly that madness followed in its wake. Its limbs were rotting but full of terrible strength, and the young man prostrated before its countenance in utter terror and stuttered the words of the Lord´s prayer over and over. And the creature bent over him and kissed his brow and ordered him to bring him the bodies of the dead as food. And the young man kneeled and obeyed, shaking with terror.

And thus Hátislár the cursed was born and the first curse was inflicted upon his soul. And this was the curse of hate.

No trace was found of the elven company, and the morning found him shaken and pale, but otherwise healthy, and after some time his mind took all these events for a dream. He shunned the pond, however, and was fearful always and endulged in foul moods and thoughts of darkness. As opposed to his former endeavours, he obeyed his master and his father and mother. But noone saw him smile. Never would a laugh touch his lips, and his parents were worried about this. The wealth of his family started to dimish, too, for no elf was seen in the vicinity of the ironforge anymore. Often one of the smiths was seen strolling away to a nearby hill and gazing into the mists that rose from the valley´s ground, and the people said that he was waiting to shun his rival or his father, depending on what rumour they wanted to spread. But the elves knew better and councelled with this smith and met in secret still, for this one human was faithful still. And he begged them to maintain the Redemester´s wealth and prosperity, and they did their best. The stubborn mind of Hátislárs father, however, did not provide them the best of possibilities. All they could do was to teach the one and faithful man in the smithy, and he in turn did his best, but als, it would not prevail. And so there came a day when the smithy´s fiefdom was passed to another Redemester. But since the old man had served the lord long and well, the manor´s warden permitted the family to live on the property and provided them with victualies and a payment of honour.

Hátislár was employed a scribe and clerk for the ironforge and did well in this job, for noone saw him smile and all that counted for him was profit, money and its profitable propagating. So he earned a modest wealth and build a family, but often he went out in the middle of the night, and the darkness found him standing beside the pond which he disdained and yet lusted for, muttering uncomprehensible words to himself, or so it seemed. His passion for hunting became deeper still, and he filled his parlour with the prepared carcasses of his prey aplenty and more.

Thence came an autumn night, when the sickle moon shone brightly and sharp, that he sat out on a nocturnal endeavour, and sitting watch on a stump in the woods, across the clearing he was watching, he saw a white hart passing. And as he shot his rifle, he missed, or so he thought, and a frenzy of hate came over him like a gust of volcanic wind, violent tremors rushed through him, and, brandishing the elven hunting knife, leapt over the clearing to chase down the hart. Panting hard, he started at a mad run and followed the drops of blood oozing from the wound he had inflicted upon the magical creature, followed the secnt of death ever deeper into the forest.

And the park, indeed being a magical creature of the forest, sought refuge within the confines of the elven territory. And Hátislár stalked the deer and followed her into a thicket of brambles in a rampage, not minding the thorns tearing at his flesh, and hacked at the fierce vines not minding his own safety, and pressed through a hedge of blackthorn. And even though it was protected by blessings of wood and thorns and vine, the park fell and lay amidst the thicket of thorns, by a well so crystal clear that sprang up and always renewed itself with the spell of everlasting youth; and the park, drinking deep, seemed to reconvalescence. But now Hátislár had reached his prey and violently hacked at the magnificíent beast and again relished in blood and gore, spilling the lifeblood and the heartblood and entrails alike alongside the white stone of the well, fouling its brightness with deeds of evil and besmirching the marvellous blade of elven make. And the park lay lifeless.

Hátislár stood and laughed for the first time in years and smeared the gore upon his face, and he felt wild and powerful. And because he had seen what the water was capable of, he drank a drink so deep he could drink no more. But what was that? As he drank from the everlasting crystal well, his vision seemed to impair, and he beheld a slender figure standing by the well, dressed all in green and silver, and a voice like the rustling of leaves touched his mind with a feathery touch.

"Come.", it said. And Hátislár came, with a sneer and a frown and he raised the knife to kill. But as he tried to stab the figure, he missed, and was it on a stone in the ground by the well that the blade snapped? All that he beheld in his hand was the handle of exquisite stag antler which he had adored for so long.

And still there stood the figure, seemingly unmoved, and spoke.

"You drank a drink. You hunted. Now pay."

Thus spoke Hátislár: "I will not. How much should I pay you, scum?"

"You drank a drink of knowledge and vision. Fear the vision to agnize yourself."

And thus the second curse was inflicted upon Hátislár.

He came home and never spoke about his hunt and what he had encountered. Three wounds he brought home, three thorns of blackthorn had wounded him, and these wounds would not heal. He kept them secret for a long time, and noone knew about them. There just was a faint note of awful stench oozing about him, but he was rich enough to afford expensive perfumes. And deep in his heart he knew that he was changing. And he was afraid, and sleep did not come to him easily, and when it came, it was full of dreams of violence, hate, and greed and madness.

Then the old Redemester who had been set above him, died, and he was offered the fiefdom for his achievements as a clerk. But Hátislár did not care, for sleep did not come to him out of fear of the dark and hate and greed and envy.

And to him were born children, and they were beautiful, and their legend is told elsewhere, but all days were just like leaves borne on the storm. They passed like the winter´s snow, as happens so easily to the mortals under the Grey God´s curse, indifferent in their absence of colour. Sometimes, when he looked at his children, and at the grandchildren that were born, he could smile, and then his smile was reminiscent of a smile he had never smiled, but it quickly faded in the indifference that had ravaged his life. And madness struck his every night.

His wealth passed. Love and friendship he ruined.

And winter came upon the smithy.

The hammer of frost bore hard upon the corrupted ruin, and fell hard upon his endeavours and his every plan. Hátislár sat alone and cried. And his wounds oozed a stench so awful that more madness followed in its wake. Thus he sat and he knew he would be changed.

There was an oak standing beside the smithy, an oak the last faithful smith had planted, and a strange rustle was in its leaves, a song, and a call rose from Dale to hill and from treetop to root and root and along the road, and the road led over the countryside.

And it was thence in the summertime of late summer that the call of the oak was heard. By the call were summoned a host of singers and dreamers. To the site they came with a song and with music and laughter. They played music and shared a drink and wayward songs and toiled along with a smile and they lend a helping hand wherever they could.

And Hátislár sat in the chair he seldom left now, and he wore a friendly mask. And Hátislár let them toil for his prospering as he had done when he was a clerk and evaluated each and every one of them on the scales of his greed. And he listened to their music as he had listened to the death throes of the white park. And often Hátislár cried and he sat beside the pond seeking council with what lurked beneath.

There was one figure amongst the colourful host of strange countenance. Man he was, but man he was not, and he was clad in black and green and sometimes he told of strange tales and he forged works of strange appearance and sang songs of alien composition in langauges never heard of. he toiled, and he toiled with a smile and talked of alien dreams and dreams come true, and dreams came true.

And Hátislár watched him with envy and thusly he worked the third curse.


To be continued.

Mittwoch, 4. Juli 2018

Cuppa tree and new knives.

 Phew. Long time, no post. I won´t bore you out with all the details, but the meantime has been both a huge pile of shite and a "what a ball" experience, a rollercoaster ride of feelings up and down. I reaalized what an insane pile of shite humanity actually is in general and learned to love some few chosen people even more for it. The shitty fuckers will be shitty fucker no less, if I rant about them or not. So let´s just say there´s a reason why I did not post this long. Then there were these privacy law novelties I had to adapt to... and I had better things to do than sit in front of a screen and write. Ride my bike, and get my soul back from the swamp others put me in. Fly again. "Scream with force into the driving wind and listen to the echoes in your mind" (VVA). And invent myself anew.

As a result, I forged again some new stuff. I forged it for myself, and myself alone.  This, for instance, is ÌsentandR (iron tooth), which I forged from a bit of crucible steel I found in the woods and which was loosely inspired by a knife by Petr Florianek, I hope, with my own spice and style on it.
 The inscription says Ìsentandr on one side and "Ubilowari" (I fend off Evil, or so it is commonly read. It is loosely inspired by a runic inscription from the migration era of European history. Consequentially, the runes are written in the elder Futhark, also from that period). The knife is a bit anachronistic in style, taking early modern age and late medieval all - steel peasant utility knives and adorning it with a rather syncretistic mishmash of Celtic and Mammen style and late medieval ornamentation. There is a dragon´s head on it to add fierceness against Evil and a fox´head which stands for stealth, hunting by night, cunning and the killing out of lust (Don´t blame me for this violence, it is what a fox is-a hound with a cat´s software... :-) ) Also, the fox is the psychopomp in a local legend, the legend of the giant´s causeway.
 Foraging for steel is  sort of a high quest for me. People tend to make fun of me because I keep finding steel and make knives out of "crap". It is not efficient in their mindset. But it is not about the steel. It is about the other world made flesh. This is a steel that had legendary qualities even in its time. People have died in making it. It is the Valyrian steel of reality. I found it by following a story. I hunted it down. It hid in the woods, until I came and found it. No, it is not out of efficiency calculations that I made this knife. Best not try to understand the story behind it- it might drive you insane.
 An altogether different thing is this one: A bushcraft knife that I built to the limit from some mystery stainless steel with a hardness of about 58 HRC and a very fine grain. I assume it might be either 440C or Niolox (1.4153.03), but fact is, I just cannot tell. Pardon me? A stainless steel which this madman does not know, selectively quenched and tempered with an open coal forge?

Yes, you CAN do it.

THis is what foraging for steel and hunting down stories can teach you: It can teach you to FEEL what is right. 
 The handle is birchwood burr with mosaic pins. Nothing fancy, and a lot of room for improvement... and I will actually even use it (I do use all of my knives)
 But the culprit is not about the knives. It is about feeling what is right, what is the graceful way to move amongst the tides ad flow of the law of the universe. It can be addictive, but this is just right. It is not about what people want to make you think, or do, or believe. Most people these days are raptuoulsy mad. This might sound a bit mad in itself, but don´t make too much contact with people. Most of them do things in a rabid manner. Do not commune with them, or you will lose the integrity and the peace of your soul. Their soul is black, and ill, and infectuous. They will want to corrupt you for no reason but that they want to.

Solution:
 Just a snack in the woods gives me back what "they" have laboured to take from me in arduous months. Just half an hour in the sun, sipping good tea, having a slice of good cheese and some tasty dark fruit bread and a sausage, using the knife from steel I foraged for amd my trusty kuksa will render all of their schemes and hatred futile. Breathing slowly, intently, and savouring each drop of milk in the cheese and each second of life in the meat, and the sun in the barley and the fruit gives me back what they think I had lost for good.

And I laugh at the prospect of them screaming in the black void where they are emprisoned for good-that once was their soul.


As long as there are woods, and the red merlin crying, as long as there is life...

 ...and death...



 The well will spring up and renew itself as long as I live.
For the wicked there can be no victory, only the silent and painful rotting of their flesh and soul. For the one who tries to walk the path along the tides and flow of the universe, there can be no defeat. No triumph, either, for a wind feels no triumph, nor does the fox... or the dragon who spans the void on iron wings... ;-)

Thanks for turning in again!

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